Lindsey and I shot a video of our story for “The Prayer Series” at West Ridge Church and showed it during the Mother’s Day services. As you will see, the emotion of what we have experienced is still quite real. It’s not easy to share in such a public manner, but we hope our story will encourage people to put their faith in Christ, no matter what their circumstances.
15
May
23
Apr
Worth A Thousand Words
Thanks to the generosity of Lindsey’s childhood friend, Allyson Harrington of AGW Photography, we were blessed to receive a series of beautiful newborn portraits of our son Cohen. Another blessing God provided during a difficult time in our lives.
The picture above was taken during the newborn photo shoot, just 5 days after Cohen’s birth. Funny thing, we took it at the last minute when we realized we had failed to get a family photo. It’s my favorite picture because it captures a huge moment in our lives. I know it is a little cliché, but a picture really is worth a thousand words. And since a thousand would be way too many to share, here are just five this picture will always represent:
- Grace - My thin frame reminds me of my cancer and the grace God showed in sparing my life.
- Miracle - Demonstrated in the creation of a little boy named Cohen.
- Love - Shared as a family and represented in the creativity poured into designing a special room.
- Sovereignty - God’s plan allowed just enough time to recover before the birth and he continues to use our story for his glory.
- Confidence - No matter what we face, God is control and will make all things work together for good.
Lindsey and I can’t wait to use this picture as a teaching tool to share with Cohen all that God did in preparation for his birth. We believe God has great things in store for his life and we want him to discover this truth as early as possible.
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 11:18-20
29
Feb
This Week I Become a Dad!
This week my life will change forever. We are having a baby!
No one could be more humbled and grateful to see this week come than me. It’s hard to believe that just a little over two months ago I was being wheeled in my hospital bed into emergency surgery because of complications from my cancer surgery just hours before. I can still picture the ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights rushing by as they hurried me through the hospital corridors. At that time, the only thing I could think of was Lindsey and my son. The thought of never meeting him and leaving Lindsey alone was more than I could bare. I remember praying in my semiconscious state, “God, please no, don’t let me die now.”
Today, I am grateful that I am alive and continuing to heal. I know God spared me and chose me to be the father of this little boy for a reason. And because of this, there is a sensibility and awareness that I would not otherwise have. I recognize the power and influence a father has on the spiritual and emotional health of his child. So I have searched my heart, fears, failures, strengths and weaknesses in light of fatherhood. I found that there are many things I want my son to learn and embrace, but even more things I want him to avoid and never face. I pray he will develop integrity, be a leader, walk in wisdom, choose the right friends and marry the right girl, along with many other character qualities and decisions. But above all, there are two things God has impressed upon me that are more important than anything else. I want him to get this from Dad:
God loves you and so does Daddy…no matter what!
That’s it, short and sweet. But don’t be fooled, this will be the toughest lesson to teach, model, and inspire in my son. And the only way I will ever have a shot is to take a team approach. That is, me and God walking intimately together day by day, moment by moment. Ephesians 4:14-19 must come to life.
God let this be my prayer for me and my son:
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”
Amen.
23
Feb
God and Whiteboards
I like a plan. And until a plan is in place I can be anxious and stressed. This may be why I love whiteboards, Moleskines, and checklists so much. There’s something about starting with a blank page, brainstorming ideas, and landing on a creative idea with a strategic plan to execute.
Recently, God nudged me about my obsession with planning. While my intentions are to honor God, sometimes I get too entrenched in planning the plan and working the plan. In doing this, it’s easy to miss the greater things God has in store. These days I’m learning that sometimes I need to slow down and ask the question, “What is God up to?”
I posed this question to our worship arts staff just a few weeks ago as we were looking at the whiteboard, fresh with the smell of dry erase markers. I asked the guys, “What’s God up to in our church?” I loved the conversation that ensued. Bottom line, God is building his church and people are looking to engage and grow. With this, we made tweaks to our whiteboard to sync up with God and bring people along for the ride.
This was done in a ministry setting, but couldn’t this principle be applied to our everyday lives? As we plan our family schedules, build our budgets, and coordinate our social lives shouldn’t we first ask, “What is God up to in my life and in those around me?” You might be surprised at what you discover and the ideas that may develop. Perhaps you will be led to have neighbors over for dinner, go to lunch with a coworker, or start a play group with other moms. Who knows?
My recent illness has prompted me and Lindsey to ask this question and led us to redirect some things in our lives. God is continuing to teach us that there is nothing more satisfying than being in the middle of his plan, and there is nothing more exciting than witnessing his power firsthand. Sometimes we simply need to wipe the whiteboard clean and ask, “What’s God Up to?” And then, plan in his direction.
20
Feb
FOOTBALL vs FATHERHOOD
Lindsey and I are less than 2-weeks from her due date. As you might imagine, I’m soaking in every bit of inspiration and advice I can about fatherhood. This is a great story of a dad at West Ridge Church, Cartersville who chose fatherhood over football.
7
Feb
Better Than Before
I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.Psalm 40:1-3
One of the things I love about God is that he is a God of restoration. What does this mean? It means he takes the parts of our lives that are in disrepair, broken, devastated, and ready for the junk pile and restores them. But not just to their former glory, he makes them better than before!
It’s been seven weeks since my surgery and the most common question I’m asked is, “How are you doing?” My answer is, “better than before!” You see for quite awhile I was sick and didn’t know it. My digestive track was giving me a lot of discomfort and my iron level was extremely low. I was lethargic and felt like the fire inside was barely flickering. On top of this, the onslaught of so many life transitions in a short amount of time, were weighing me down. Little did I know, there was cancer inside me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually that God would have to remove and restore.
Now that I’m weeks removed from surgery, I’m amazed at my physical condition:
It’s been seven weeks since my surgery and the most common question I’m asked is, “How are you doing?” My answer is, “better than before!” You see for quite awhile I was sick and didn’t know it. My digestive track was giving me a lot of discomfort and my iron level was extremely low. I was lethargic and felt like the fire inside was barely flickering. On top of this, the onslaught of so many life transitions in a short amount of time, were weighing me down. Little did I know, there was cancer inside me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually that God would have to remove and restore.
Now that I’m weeks removed from surgery, I’m amazed at my physical condition:
- I have way more energy - the fire and drive is back!
- My digestive system is regulating with minimal discomfort.
- My appetite is healthy and I’ve gained back five pounds of the 15 I lost.
- My incisions are healed, providing much more mobility.
- I have the doctor’s O.K. to ease into working out again.
- I don’t have restrictions on lifting things.
- I’m not on any form of medication.
I’m very grateful that God has restored my body, but I’m even more thankful for a very unexpected blessing. Walking through this trial has brought Psalm 40 to life. I have a “new song” in my heart and a new “rock” to stand on because I see life with greater clarity and perspective than before. Having experienced God’s power and love in miraculous ways, I no longer find myself in the spiritual and emotional pits of worry, stress, and anxiety. True joy has been restored! And it is even better than before.
No matter what we face, whether physical, emotional, relational, or even financial we must remember the power of the Gospel of Jesus! As God raised Jesus from death to life, he can AND WILL heal and restore each of us. God only asks that we wave the white flag of surrender and trust him- nothing else. And as we surrender, we need only to wait patiently and walk courageously through the “miry bog.” The end result? A new song in our heart and a firm foundation to stand on - Better Than Before!
24
Jan
The Bell family working in our yard during my recovery.
Holy Pine Straw
I’ve always seen myself as someone willing to lend a helping hand. I often say to people facing hardships, “Hey, let me know if I can do anything?” Not that I don’t mean it, but come on, how many times does someone ever “let us know if we can help.” The phrase “let me know” is a well intentioned and caring statement with its proper time and place. But isn’t it true that many times it is a passive commitment that puts the burden on the other person to take the initiative?
This past month Lindsey and I found ourselves on the other side of the conversation. We were the ones in need and discovered we were often unable to think about what we needed and reluctant to imposition people to help. In this, I learned a huge lesson about serving that pointed to my own shortcomings as a servant of Jesus. I learned that sometimes we don’t need to ask; sometimes we just need to do.
A great example of this is our friends Jeff and Lauren Bell. One night they called and told us they were making plans to come over that week and put pine straw in our flowerbeds. Jeff and I had a conversation months earlier about pine straw and how coming from Texas it was a new concept for me. I fully intended to add new straw to my beds last fall, but never got around to it. Jeff remembered this conversation and acted on it without consideration of the time and money it would cost.
One afternoon, with the pickup loaded with pine straw, the entire Bell family came to our house. They spent several hours hauling bails and scattering the straw around the house. Not only this, but they took our Christmas tree and outside decorations down, carried boxes up stairs, and even moved a stack of firewood. I was in recovery and not allowed to lift anything over 15 lbs and was forced to watch as they worked around my house. When they finished, the yard looked awesome, our house was back to normal, and no more holiday decor. We were blessed!
What a humbling experience this was, yet a huge example of faith in action. In the same way, Jesus took initiative by leaving the comfort of heaven to enter our world not be be served, but to serve. This is the holy example I want to practice and model for my son. So I ask myself, who do I know that could use some help, hope, or encouragement? How can I think out of the box, take initiative, and serve them? Who knows, maybe they simply need some holy pine straw!
This past month Lindsey and I found ourselves on the other side of the conversation. We were the ones in need and discovered we were often unable to think about what we needed and reluctant to imposition people to help. In this, I learned a huge lesson about serving that pointed to my own shortcomings as a servant of Jesus. I learned that sometimes we don’t need to ask; sometimes we just need to do.
A great example of this is our friends Jeff and Lauren Bell. One night they called and told us they were making plans to come over that week and put pine straw in our flowerbeds. Jeff and I had a conversation months earlier about pine straw and how coming from Texas it was a new concept for me. I fully intended to add new straw to my beds last fall, but never got around to it. Jeff remembered this conversation and acted on it without consideration of the time and money it would cost.
One afternoon, with the pickup loaded with pine straw, the entire Bell family came to our house. They spent several hours hauling bails and scattering the straw around the house. Not only this, but they took our Christmas tree and outside decorations down, carried boxes up stairs, and even moved a stack of firewood. I was in recovery and not allowed to lift anything over 15 lbs and was forced to watch as they worked around my house. When they finished, the yard looked awesome, our house was back to normal, and no more holiday decor. We were blessed!
What a humbling experience this was, yet a huge example of faith in action. In the same way, Jesus took initiative by leaving the comfort of heaven to enter our world not be be served, but to serve. This is the holy example I want to practice and model for my son. So I ask myself, who do I know that could use some help, hope, or encouragement? How can I think out of the box, take initiative, and serve them? Who knows, maybe they simply need some holy pine straw!
23
Jan
We went back to the hospital and found the bench that Lindsey sat on while I was in emergency surgery praying for God to spare my life. So glad I could sit there and remember what God has done.
19
Jan
It’s In My Genes!
Yesterday we met with the geneticist and oncologist to find out my test results for Lynch Syndrome. We were told that the cancer tumor tested positive for this genetic discorder. In simple terms, this means I inherited a mutated gene that predisposes me to early colon cancer and/or stomach cancer (the risk for stomach cancer is much lower). The next step is to do a blood test to make sure it lines up with what was found in the tumor. The doctors are 85% sure the tests are accurate. Will have final word on this in two weeks.
Here is the summary of what this means for me and my family:
- I will not have to have chemo! Studies show that it is ineffective for people with Lynch Syndrome. This episode of cancer should be over; we just have to watch for another cancer developing in the future. Again we are thankful that it did not spread.
- With Lynch Syndrome, there is a 50% lifetime risk that another cancer will begin to form in my colon. This means I will have to have a colonoscopy and endoscopy once a year from now on. The goal is to detect a polyp early before it turns into a cancerous tumor.
- My son, future children, and the rest of my blood relatives have a 50% chance of carrying the Lynch Syndrome gene as well. Fortunately with this knowledge, they can be tested for the mutated gene and then respond with the appropriate colon screenings depending on their age.
- The geneticist will begin a process to work through my family tree to determine who carries the gene and then help with next steps.
Bottom line, Lindsey and I are not upset with this diagnosis. The downside is that I will have to watch for colon cancer the rest of my life. However, with early detection we can avoid another surgery in the future. We are thankful to have this information so that our children and family can be protected from going through their own cancer crisis. I wish I could say in 3-5 years I will be declared free of any risk, but I recognize this as one of those things in life that God allows to keep me tethered to him in faith and trust. Lindsey and I cherish the lessons we have learned and look forward to continued growth as we face this challenge together.
If you want to know more about Lynch Syndrome, here are a couple of medical journals that we have read that give a very detailed description:
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